Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The List Continues

Ok, so because the midwest is now completely white on GoogleEarth thanks to what now is being called "Snomageddon Twenty Eleven", I thought I would give you precious doves some reading material. you know youre getting bored with facebook by now, anyway...

Just kidding, Mark Zuckerberg

As you may recall from my previous post, I'm working on a little list that i have lovingly started referring to as my "Uncomfort Zone". Ya know, just the little day to day stuff that makes my skin crawl.

Lets dig in, shall we?

4.) Flip Flops
I have very, VERY flat feet. No one needs to see that. So flat, infact, that I actually consider them a deformity. I don't even like seeing them, so I am not going to put them on display for THE WHOLE WORLD to see. Enough about my feet. Flip flops. Right. They really are not very plausible articles of foot wear, are they? What if it rains? What if I need to run somewhere? What if its RAINING and I need to RUN to get out of the rain? Now, ask yourself...are flip flops going to have your back when the going gets tough? I think we all know the answer to that.

5.) I DON'T WANT TO TRY YOUR SUSHI.
I faintly remember Matt LeBlanc telling me once in the late 90's to not give into peer pressure and to always stand up for what I believe. And then a shooting star with a rainbow tail flew by declaring "the more you know". So, this one's for you, Matt/Joey: GET YOUR SUSHI OUT OF MY FACE. Sushi people are all the same, pushing their uncooked rolls of yuck in your face saying:

"Oh, it's so good! Just Trust Me!"

-OR-

"Well, you've probably never had GOOD sushi."

No, and I wouldn't know. None of it is appealing to me.

6.) Bowling.
What? Huh? EVERYONE likes to go bowling! WRONG. Not this guy. In my experience, those types of places never really live up to their supposed potential of entertainment. Included in your bowling package are:

Judith- the "friendly" 50-something woman who will give you your rental shoes. No half sixes.
$7.00 cold nachos from the "concession stand".
NOT Glow Bowling.

I have never liked going to a poorly lit, funky smelling building full of people who are upset because "they've been bowling and smoking here since the 80's", and now it's a smoke-free facility. They're all jumpy and irritable because its been an hour since their last smoke break and the pins just aren't falling in their favor. Everything looks all swirly and they cant see the pins straight. Maybe they need a cigarette to regain their focus. Oh, wait...they cant smoke inside anymore. AHH! *throws ball at Judith*. That's a problem. You do not want to mess with league bowlers with a nicotine addiction. Life lesson.

3 comments:

  1. I won't be trying sushi anytime either! I with ya sista!

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  2. I am going to see if I can get this comment to "stick".

    I love your blog, but your list items 1-5 cracked me up the most.

    Keep it up Grant! I am amused!

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  3. okay... on the flip flops...what about sandals? they're floppish, but you can still run in them. I'm for anything that stays on my feet.

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